I'm Proud of Myself When I Make My Mom Snort
This week has been....well, really great. And surprisingly, the fact that I am at 196.2lbs is the least satisfying part of it all. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled; weighing that much at this point mean's I'm on track to get around 190lbs by the end of August. But literally so many wonderful things are going on!
I got a job that I'm really loving (fingers crossed that it sticks). I'm getting to reconnect with wonderful friends who love me. Things have been going great with family too; I've got a movie date with my dad today to watch the new Annabelle movie! We may even go ride the water taxi tonight, and I'll get to be DD...
My teeth look whiter, I got a hair cut I love, I'm finally understanding how to contour, I'm reading a good book, and my relationship with God has more life than it has in awhile, I taught my dog a new trick, I made these excellent stuffed jalapeños the other day, and I recently got my nails done. So yeah...I say with astounding gratitude and an unhealthy amount of paranoia that...I'm happy.
It was actually kind of astounding to realize that; the fact that I was happy and all. The other night I ran some errands with my mother; she's finally got a car that has bluetooth, so I hooked up my phone and played all sorts of music. I was dancing like an idiot and she was laughing with that big gorgeous smile of hers. We even danced in the drive through at the bank to the song I'm including with this post. Since I like to add club moves to any and every song, the cameras at the bank got an eyeful of us dancing and cracking up.
Looking at my mom's face, I realized it had. She had been missing this side of me. And I also realized that I had too. Battling depression, anxiety, abuse, and the numerous obstacles of life had taken a lot out of me, as it would anymore. But then I realized the difference between now and that dark period of time...
I have been taking active steps to purge my life of toxic things and people. I have been being mindful of who I give my time and energy to. And I've been actively loving my body by working out, and my heart by doing things I love, like reading or writing poetry. Actively loving my spirit by going to church and spending time with Abba. And it's making a difference. I'm not sure how long this season of joy will last, but I am very excited to be getting reacquainted with this side of myself while we have the time. I missed this me too.
So yeah...I guess all I'm saying is that it's astounding how life can change when the stars align and you focus your energy on the important things. A delicate combination, but a beautiful one. If it hasn't happened for you yet, I know it will; things like this, blessings and misfortune, seem to come in waves. They did in college haha. So if you're in a season of misfortune, I'm sending my wave to you. Life may never be perfect, mine isn't, but it can be really really wonderful.
I'll be posting soon with reports on the challenges I've been given; if you haven't given me one please do! There will be updates on that, as well as other exciting news. I love you guys...we'll talk here soon.
In the meantime...thanks for reading and happy eating.
Stuffed Jalapeños I made:
3 Jalapeños cut in half creating 6 half peppers...because, you know, math.
Stuff pepper halves with a combination of mozzarella and pepper jack cheese.
Cut three strips of bacon in half, and press bacon strips into brown sugar.
Wrap said bacon strips around stuffed peppers and secure with toothpicks.
Bake in oven at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes.
Eat!
I got a job that I'm really loving (fingers crossed that it sticks). I'm getting to reconnect with wonderful friends who love me. Things have been going great with family too; I've got a movie date with my dad today to watch the new Annabelle movie! We may even go ride the water taxi tonight, and I'll get to be DD...
My teeth look whiter, I got a hair cut I love, I'm finally understanding how to contour, I'm reading a good book, and my relationship with God has more life than it has in awhile, I taught my dog a new trick, I made these excellent stuffed jalapeños the other day, and I recently got my nails done. So yeah...I say with astounding gratitude and an unhealthy amount of paranoia that...I'm happy.
It was actually kind of astounding to realize that; the fact that I was happy and all. The other night I ran some errands with my mother; she's finally got a car that has bluetooth, so I hooked up my phone and played all sorts of music. I was dancing like an idiot and she was laughing with that big gorgeous smile of hers. We even danced in the drive through at the bank to the song I'm including with this post. Since I like to add club moves to any and every song, the cameras at the bank got an eyeful of us dancing and cracking up.
Anyway the hilarity continued as we walked through Publix. Like, you all might not think I'm funny, but when I'm "on" I can make my mom laugh like nobody's business. I got her to snort at least four times in the store. So, we're standing at the deli right, getting pieces of meat and cheese from this awesome Thai woman named Sue...
And my mom looks at me, starting to tear up because she's my mom, and she says, " You know why you're acting like this don't you?" I did not. Then she said, "It's because you're happy. This is you when you're happy." I thought about it...it had been at least three years since I had "acted like this". Had it really been that long since I'd been truly happy?Looking at my mom's face, I realized it had. She had been missing this side of me. And I also realized that I had too. Battling depression, anxiety, abuse, and the numerous obstacles of life had taken a lot out of me, as it would anymore. But then I realized the difference between now and that dark period of time...
I have been taking active steps to purge my life of toxic things and people. I have been being mindful of who I give my time and energy to. And I've been actively loving my body by working out, and my heart by doing things I love, like reading or writing poetry. Actively loving my spirit by going to church and spending time with Abba. And it's making a difference. I'm not sure how long this season of joy will last, but I am very excited to be getting reacquainted with this side of myself while we have the time. I missed this me too.
So yeah...I guess all I'm saying is that it's astounding how life can change when the stars align and you focus your energy on the important things. A delicate combination, but a beautiful one. If it hasn't happened for you yet, I know it will; things like this, blessings and misfortune, seem to come in waves. They did in college haha. So if you're in a season of misfortune, I'm sending my wave to you. Life may never be perfect, mine isn't, but it can be really really wonderful.
I'll be posting soon with reports on the challenges I've been given; if you haven't given me one please do! There will be updates on that, as well as other exciting news. I love you guys...we'll talk here soon.
In the meantime...thanks for reading and happy eating.
Stuffed Jalapeños I made:
3 Jalapeños cut in half creating 6 half peppers...because, you know, math.
Stuff pepper halves with a combination of mozzarella and pepper jack cheese.
Cut three strips of bacon in half, and press bacon strips into brown sugar.
Wrap said bacon strips around stuffed peppers and secure with toothpicks.
Bake in oven at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes.
Eat!
Kalie! This post made me so happy... because you were happy :) When you are just living life, keeping your eyes on Jesus, and doing what he puts in your heart, you are walking the fine line between self and living for him. There is no greater joy than when you know you are living in the center of his will. Keep on keeping on. You are doing an amazing job. Your focus and vulnerability are truly inspiring me.
ReplyDeleteps....LOVE stuffed jalapenos!!!! :)