That B@$%ard in the Candy Cane Forest
Did anyone else play that board game Candy Land? You had to draw cards and bring your little gingerbread people through all sorts of candy themed biospheres, meeting sugary characters, some of them more sketchy than others. While I've got your attention, I'd like to send a shout out to my girl, Queen Frostine, the baddest b*tch on the board. Note the cold dead gaze. All the characters were interesting, but there was one I will never forget and probably never forgive. That freaking Mr. Mint. You all know him! He was a tall, red and white striped creeper with dead eyes and he hung out in the Candy Cane Forest. The reason I hated Mr. Mint was because, when my family sat down to play, at least five times a game I would get to the Candy Cane Forest and then that sadist would send me back to the Sugar Plum Patch at the beginning of the board. It was like I had a target on my forehead and Mr. Mint had a peppermint sniper rifle. ...